


pseudonym

by WritingOnTheWalls



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: (i'm not sorry), Dwayne!Ben!Pete! wonderdorksuperpals!, M/M, completely ooc content but i love them all okay, halloween? in king falls? not in this lifetime, i'm sorry???, mostly canon-compliant highschool fic, pining over your dumb best friend, spoilers for KFAM and theories concerning masked superidiots, suggestions of homophobia, underage drinking mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 06:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19941946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingOnTheWalls/pseuds/WritingOnTheWalls
Summary: dwayne really likes batman.kirk really likes dwayne.(especially in his batman costume.)





	pseudonym

**Author's Note:**

> Opps?

Literally everybody at King Falls High was surprised when Kirk Mitner and Dwayne Libbydale became friends their junior year.

Perhaps nobody more-so than Kirk himself.    
  
He was shy, there was no way around it. He much preferred books and video games to things like  _ people  _ and he secretly thought everybody else was okay with that too. He wasn’t particularly interesting, or overly witty. He got by in school, because well. He had few distractions, and a lot of free time. The longest conversation he could remember having in the last six months had been with his sister Mandy - who had asked him to pass the salt at dinner. 

“We don’t have any. I’ll buy some on Thursday.” 

“Okay.” 

He’d long since resigned to the fact that that would be his life. Long periods of silence, and his own thoughts in his own presence. Maybe he’d go to college next year, and things would change, but if they didn’t? Fine by him. 

But then Dwayne Libbydale approached him during lunch one fateful afternoon in February, and Kirk suddenly realised that maybe he wanted a friend after all. 

Dwayne Libbydale was not the kind of person Kirk would choose to interact with if given a choice. He was loud, and abrasive. He was funny, sure, but also generally overly obnoxious. A little too selfish. He was at home with people like Ben Arnold and Pete Meyers - who together had been dubbed a variety of nicknames, the nicest being ‘dumb, dumb and dumber.”

They spent their time going to parties and getting stupidly drunk, and doting over girls who wanted nothing to do with them. Kirk knew Dwayne auditioned for their school musicals sometimes, was good at sports but not enough to make any teams and was notoriously bad at Math. He knew that Dwayne spent a large portion of class-time reading comic books under his desk, and he knew that he always carried around a 2litre bottle of water, ready to offer to anybody who might be in desperate need to hydration.

He knew he had dark hair, and broad shoulders and a wicked grin. He knew his hands shook a lot, but he never let on that he was likely nervous, and if Kirk had been a little less perceptive maybe he would’ve been fooled just as easily as everybody else. 

Kirk knew that Dwayne’s eyes were blue, but he didn’t realise that they would sparkle  _ like that  _ when looking at them up-close. 

He didn’t know that when Dwayne would sit next to him on the grass, peer over at him curiously, and ask him if he’d be interested in helping him with a Ben-Arnold-Classic event, that he would say ‘yes’ without hesitation. 

But that’s exactly what happened. 

And it wasn’t long before Kirk realised he was wrong, because having friends was actually kind of okay. Especially if those friends included Dwayne Libbydale. Especially then. (Even if his friends also happened to include Ben Arnold and Pete Meyers. Small sacrifices.) 

* * *

“It’s our final Halloween Kirk, you have to come.” Dwayne had spent months pleading with Kirk about this, and Kirk had maybe been resisting a little too hard. Seeing his friend pout made his stomach ache in a way that had nothing to do with hunger - and everything to do with the fact that he probably, maybe, definitely was madly in love with him. 

“Halloween is not a thing,” Kirk found himself saying with a small grin, “you and Arnold just want an excuse to get drunk.” 

“We don’t need an excuse, Kirky.” Dwayne flopped himself on his bed, and sighed deeply. “We’ll be gone by the next one, and you’ll regret not going.” 

“Don’t guilt me into your stupid schemes, because I am not going to always be around to bail you out of them,” Kirk laughed and sat next to his friend before jabbing him in the ribs. “And quit calling me Kirky.” 

“What about Kirby, Kirky.” 

“You are a mess, Dwayne Libbydale.” 

“You love it.” 

_ Absolutely.  _

There was a small comfortable silence, as Dwayne scrolled noncommittally through his flipphone, and Kirk considered Halloween. 

As he’d said, it was not a thing King Falls generally acknowledged, but some seniors had obviously decided copious amounts of underage drinking and girls in skimpy outfits was worth ignoring one of the unspoken golden rules of their little town.    
  
“It’ll prepare us for the real world,” Dwayne had told him a week earlier, in another attempt to convince Kirk to fall into line, “how can you leave King Falls and go to college never having been to a Halloween party?” 

Kirk didn’t tell Dwayne that he had been intending to go to college having never been to any kind of party, let alone one celebrating Halloween. Or that he didn’t want to leave King Falls if that meant leaving Dwayne and his comic books and his beautiful blue eyes behind. Which was a possibility he refused to think about - that Dwayne would probably stay and look after his family farm, and Kirk would be gone, maybe forever. That somebody he’d barely known a year ago had become such a constant source of comfort, of stability. Of hope, and happiness and just. Everything.    
  
Dwayne was everything Kirk never thought he’d have, and soon he would be back to not having it. 

It was terrifying, and yet. Still, he resisted. 

If it weren’t for the stupid costumes. And the fact that Dwayne was stupidly straight and probably going to get drunk and hit on some girl and..

Dwayne was saying something now, but Kirk barely heard him. He waited for him to finish, before taking a deep breath. “I’ll go to the stupid party.” 

Dwayne barely let him finish before flinging himself up and at his friend and flat out _ squealing.  _

“Kirk Mitner, I could kiss you right now.” 

_ And I really wish you would.  _

* * *

“How have you never worn a costume Mitner, I didn’t realise you secretly lived in the third world.”

“Leave him alone Meyers, ya dumb.”    
  
There was still a whole three weeks until the dreaded Halloween party, and Kirk had mistakenly let Pete and Ben in on his dilema. It was lunchtime, and the three were crowded around their usual table, lunch trays and homework scattered haphazardly across its wooden graffitied surface. Dwayne had been held back after class, but Kirk had sat with Pete and Ben anyway, a thing he was very much regretting.    
  
At least Ben was nice enough to sort of stand up for him. Sometimes. 

Kirk just mumbled under his breath, and continued peeling his orange, if only to keep his hands busy. His friends had been discussing and decided on outfits for this event weeks ago. Theoretically, he should have too since it had been over a week since he himself had agreed to join them. But he, uh. Had somehow let it slip his mind. 

(For reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with Dwayne’s recent hair cut and lip piercing aquisition.) 

Ben and Pete had started arguing by the time Dwayne showed up, and so barely noticed as he kissed Kirk on the cheek (his usual greeting) and slipped onto the bench next to him. 

“Who do we hate today?” 

“Kirk,” Pete happily chirped, pulling himself from the Ben-argument to start a new one. “He’s never worn a costume before, and has neglected to plan for The Party of the freakin’ year. How are you still his friend, Libbydale. He’s a hopeless case.” 

To Dwayne’s credit, he only looked a little taken aback. A little hurt. 

“You could have told me.”    
  
“I forgot,” Kirk was slightly embarassed at having potentially upset his friend, and also the presence three sets of pitying eyes. “Not exactly something I’ve ever had to figure out before.” 

Dwayne looked thoughtful for a moment, before speaking again. “I’m obviously going as Batman,” he did the voice as though to emphasise his point, “so I guess you could be The Joker.” 

Kirk made a face. “Do you think that little of me?” 

“Point taken.” 

There were some general argument about Batman related costumes- Pete thought Kirk was  _ such _ a Robin, and Ben threw out a variety of female superheroes with something akin to glee. They veered wildly towards everything from Luigi and Harry Potter, back to a watermelon and a raccoon. 

Ben’s wild protests about  _ Garbage Bears _ halted that conversation, as he and Pete dissolved into another argument that somehow turned into the two of them wrestling on the floor. 

Children. They were actual children. 

Dwayne was methodically eating his lunch - a habit Kirk found both endearing and frustrating. “If I’m Batman,” he said through a mouthful of ham and cheese, “you should totally be Manbat.” 

“Be what?” 

“Manbat.” A grin was spreading over Dwayne’s face, and Kirk knew he would do absolutely anything to keep it there. “Kirk Langstrom, it’s perfect.” 

Kirk could only sigh as Pete began to wail. 

* * *

“What do you mean the costume didn’t come on time?” 

Kirk looked acceptably apologetic, but Dwayne was upset for a reason Kirk couldn’t quite figure out. “I guess it got lost in the mail, I’m sorry. I tried.” 

He hadn’t really. He’d ordered the costume a solid week before the party knowing full well there would be no way it would come in time at this point in the year. “I’m sure we can find something acceptable for me to wear instead.” 

Dwayne seemed overly frustrated, but eventually conceeded defeat. “All costume stores will be empty by now,” he gestured towards his friend’s wardrobe, “just keep in mind that you’re going to be the odd one out, not anybody else.” 

Kirk usually was the odd one out, so that didn’t bother him as much as it probably should’ve. 

Still, he felt a bit of a twit when they showed up to the party and he realised Dwayne had been right. He  **was** the odd one out. And man, did he feel like an idiot.

Dwayne had dressed head-to-toe in a photo- realistic looking Batman outfit his mother had lovingly spent weeks crafting. He’d purchased a few of the accessories in-store, including a tiny toy batmobile that he had spent an hour revving up and down his room. Literal. Child. 

Kirk had to admit he was a little impressed when Dwayne had returned to his room suited up though. For reasons that had almost nothing to do with how good Dwayne’s ass looked in that outfit. 

Shit, he was so gay. 

Kirk had settled on a perfectly nice pair of jeans, a plain brown tshirt, and a red flannel that was maybe a little too big. Dwayne had handed him a baseball bat, stood back to give his friend a once-over and gave him a thumbs up. “I mean, you do pull off man-with-bat well.” Kirk could feel himself flushing, before Dwayne added “not as well as I pull of Batman, but we can’t all be perfect.” 

Kirk silently agreed. 

He had really never imagined himself being at this type of party, and this wasn’t his first since he’d become friends with Dwayne, but this was a different experience altogether. The drugs and alcohol obviously present, coupled with bad music and flashing lights usually did little for him, but the addition of costumes? He was having a slight sensory overload. 

He allowed himself to be pulled through the party in a daze, until they were flagged down by Ben and Pete. 

“What are _ you _ supposed to be.” 

Pete was looking Kirk up and down, hands placed on his hips as Ben (dressed in his Grease costume, typical) and Dwayne busied themselves with a variety of comical hero-poses, as several girls dressed as wonder woman looked on and giggled. 

Kirk swung his bat weakly, “manbat?” 

Pete rolled his eyes, and Kirk frowned at him. “What are you, then?” 

Pete scoffed at him, and spread his arms out wide. “I’m pretty sure it’s obvious, lamebutt.” He was suddenly slam-tackled by Ben, who had clearly already had a little to drink, as the shout that had accompanied the action was notably slurred.

Kirk just stared at they wrestled (again) before wandering off to find some more alcohol. Kirk just blinked after them. “I will literally never understand those two.” 

“Join the club.” Dwayne had rejoined his friend, clearly wanting to go after the others. “No idea how they became friends, but who am I to judge?” 

“What is Pete supposed to be anyway,” because surely Dwayne would know. 

He did, it seemed. “He’s, uh. A fish. Because. He’s a catch. Apparently.” 

Kirk groaned. 

* * *

Ben was a young man who did not handle his alcohol well, and Pete was only slightly better. Dwayne held himself back to only two beers - for Kirk’s sake, which made his friend feel a little bad, honestly. But it also meant he got to spend time alone with him. So, worth it.

They’d wandered into the backyard of the party - being held at a senior called Grisham’s family home - and surveyed their friends and classmates as they proceeded to make complete idiots of themselves. 

  
“At least they’re having fun I guess,” said Dwayne with a sigh, as Ben had to be pried off Maggie Masterson, who was dressed as a rainbow mermaid princess faerie queen butterfly. “Will he ever get over her.” 

“They go together like - “ 

“Yeah, yeah I know.” 

There were six kids dressed as Jokers, and Kirk pointed out each one with a laugh. “Aren’t you glad I’m original.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say Bat Boy.” 

He was feeling sleepy and content. He'd long abandoned his bat, which he was somewhat thankful for. They'd danced awkwardly with their friends for a while, which was less traumatising than Kirk had envisioned, even when Dwayne had run across the room to do The Chicken Dance with a girl dressed as Spiderman and left him at the mercy of a drunken Pete.

Later on, Dwayne had dragged Kirk back into the garden, a small pile of food in his hands, and a smile plastered across his face. (Kirk imagined, because. Mask.)

They’d talked a little more about the varying outfits of their classmates - (“can you believe Greg Frickard actually dressed as the HalloweenTown frog,” “Seems more like a Norman Bates to me.”) and the evening seemed to fly by. 

Kirk found himself laying in Dwayne’s lap and tried not to think about it. His eyes were half shut and begging him to let them finally close, when Dwayne leaned down and whispered something into his ear.    
  
“Can I tell you a secret?” 

“Is it that you’re Bruce Wayne because Dwayne, I know.” 

Dwayne laughed, and continued to speak, this time in his dodgy faux Batman voice.    
  
“I’ve been trying not to tell you, but I can’t not anymore.” 

Kirk was suddenly hyperaware of his surroundings again. The fact that he was literally ontop of his friend, who he was not-so-secretly in love with and who. Who had a secret? He. It couldn’t be. Right? 

His heart did the weird flip-flop thing it liked to do around Dwayne, even as his friend continued to badly immitate Batman.    
  
“I’ve. I’ve been applying for colleges. For next year.” 

It. It wasn’t what he had been expecting. But also. 

_ Oh.  _

Kirk could literally hear how uncomfortable the admission was making Dwayne. As though even speaking the words out loud was akin to him being caught red-handed doing something wrong.    
  
“I want to leave King Falls.” 

He paused, as though waiting for Kirk to react. To _laugh_. Kirk realised he was waiting for him to laugh. Because he did think he was doing something wrong. Because he thought he wasn’t good enough. How could Dwayne Libbydale, of all people, think he wasn't good enough?  
  
“Oh Dwayne,” was all he could manage. 

“I know it’s a long shot, and I’m not the kind of person who gets to leave King Falls. And the farm and everything, and it would probably just be easier for everybody if I stayed. A lot less embarrassing when I fail.” Kirk had sat up now, and was surveying his friend, intently. He looked somewhat sheepish, a little scared, and Kirk gingerly placed a hand on his friend’s arm, the only way he could think to comfort him.  
  
“You aren’t going to fail. I believe in you.” 

And Dwayne beamed at him, not in his usual way. Something softer. Shyer. More genuine. 

“I’ve always been Dwayne Libbydale of Libbydale Farms. That’s okay, because I like him. I like that he cares about his mom, and his friends, and that he’s good at making people laugh, and that he makes his dad and his brothers proud. I like that he gets to have a dozen different pets, and that his grandma is an awesome cook and gives the best hugs. I love that he gets to have alright friends like Kirk Mitner. But I want to not be Dwayne Libbydale sometimes too. I’m starting to think that’s okay. To not be me. For a while.” 

“You’ve always been more than _just Dwayne Libbydale_ to me,” Kirk said, and died a little inside as Dwayne reached down and squeezed his hand.

“This is your fault,” he whined a little, after pulling his hand away “if you hadn’t decided to be my friend, and if you weren’t so set on making something of yourself, and if you hadn’t convinced Ben that he could leave and make something of himself in radio too, and that Pete that he can totally start his own business and marry a cougar - maybe I wouldn’t have thought I could either. Maybe I would’ve just settled for a life I thought I wanted. A mundane, tedious existence, the one that everybody expected from me. A life without you in it.” 

Kirk tried to ignore the flush rising in his cheeks and shook his head vigorously. “You’ve always been capable Dwayne Libbydale. You just.. Needed a push. And i’m glad I could be there. To push.” He smiled, suddenly feeling small. “Besides, you were the one who decided you wanted to be my friend.” 

“I think,” Dwayne said slowly, measured, “that maybe something bigger than both of us actually decided that instead.” 

Kirk thought he understood. Knew that there was another layer to the secrets being shared. Something a little more private than could be expressed at that party, at that moment, with Dwayne in a Batman costume and their friends wrestling (again) not five meters away as Troy (dressed as a sheriff) tried to pull them apart whilst a crowd of costumed students looked on in horror. 

In the end, it was all semantics, and as long as he had Dwayne in his life, what did the ‘how’ matter? 

“As if you could ever get rid of me,” and Kirk earned himself a shove for that. It was nice, regardless.

Maybe Dwayne would stay in King Falls anyway, or maybe not. Maybe he and Kirk would end up on different sides of the country and never speak again after high school. Or maybe they would somehow end up at the same college, in the same dorm room, rolling their eyes over their same stupid friends and ridiculous assignments and cafeteria lunches.   
Maybe college wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Maybe one day, Kirk would be able to tell Dwayne how god-damned happy he was that he was in his life, Batman costumes and all. 

Maybe one day, Dwayne would kiss him, and Kirk could kiss him back, and they wouldn’t be in King Falls so it wouldn’t matter that they were both dudes and still so stupidly in love. It just wouldn’t. 

Maybe they could proceed to make up for the fact that they’d be unable to go to prom together in this lifetime. Or hold hands in the corridors of their horrible backwards high school. Or be anything but platonic, because pretending to be platonic when you so desperately felt otherwise was just unfair. 

Even if it didn’t happen. Even if nothing changed between them, at least Kirk could find peace in the fact that he’d had this time with Dwayne, time he could’ve so easily missed out on if he’d continued to refuse to let people in. If Dwayne hadn’t stopped and looked him in the eyes and made him realise that his life wasn’t the one-man paradise he’d always envisioned it to be, where would he be? 

And he was content with the fact that somehow, even in a small, potentially insignificant way, he’d changed Dwayne’s life for the better, too. 

No series of events could make that anything less than completely wonderful.

**Author's Note:**

> (and then they got married and lived happily ever after, the end.) 
> 
> Thanks to the folks on the KFAM discord, for constantly putting up w/ me and generally being amazing humans. You should all go join us there if you haven’t already!   
> Also thanks to the pals in the headcanon channel for humouring me, I am truly blessed.   
> Am firmly on #TeamDwayneLibbydaleIsTheDark and also...Dwayne and Kirk??? I need more of them in my life, both of which inspired this fic, WOOH.   
> Thanks, as always, for reading, I live for your feedback <3


End file.
